• LoveSexAndGenderCenter

Why Sex Therapy?

Updated: Aug 26, 2018

Don’t only weird people with major issues see shrinks? And a sex shrink?! I mean, things must be really bad to resort to that! Hi, I am one of the sex therapists at The Love, Sex, and Gender Center, and I am here to let you know that going to see a sex therapist is neither cruel nor unusual.

The reality is, we live in a sex-negative culture in the United States. We all experience the effect of this with messages circulating our community like “sex is a private matter, you just got to figure it out,” or “if you are not vanilla, there is something wrong with you, you must be a freak!” Can you remember the last time you were in a room full of people (normies, not kinksters, obviously!) and were able to candidly talk about sex, longer than a sentence in passing, and not have the room go into some sort shame-induced silence or a quick change of topic? This is often the case sadly, not only with strangers, but with those closest to us, co-workers, loved ones, family, and friends. Sex is a basic human need along with water, food, and air. At some point, we all have to eat, drink, and fuck (be that with ourselves or another!). Whether we are opening our relationship up to be poly, finally mustering up the courage to ask our partner to spank us, or working through deep-seeded trauma, we all deserve support on our journey. So, what does support look like anyways, don’t you just talk about your problems in therapy? Yes and no, therapy offers a safe space to explore your experience and get clear on what you want in life, there is room for whatever you want to bring.

It helps you uncover old messages you might still be carrying around from your childhood without knowing it like “sex is a bad thing to do or want”, “sex is something that isn’t “clean” or virtuous”, “sex is something you just have to figure out on your own”, or “your desires are shameful and should be kept secret.” In sex therapy, we work at letting go of these outdated messages so you can more fully and unapologetically be you and figure out what keeps you from achieving your full potential. It is an excellent tool for singles, poly constellations, and couples alike! I like to think of it like car insurance, yes that is right I said car insurance! You do not wait until you get in a car cash to drag your half-burnt body into the office on all fours (unless you are into that of course). You want to build the support you need into your routine so when you feel deflated and knocked down by life, you have systems in place to keep you from falling hard. Therapy is not just for when things are bad. It is there whenever you want to help support you in maintaining or deepening the quality of your sex life!

So reach out for a free 20-minute consultation, we do not bite!

About the author: Sophia O'Connor, MA, is a psychotherapist at the Love, Sex and Gender Center in Boulder, CO. She provides a culturally sensitive, sex-positive therapy to individuals and couples. She graduated from Naropa University with a Master’s Degree in Contemplative Psychotherapy and Buddhist Psychology. Her mission is to bring mindfulness to the understanding of human sexuality and the non-normative. She is currently working on a Ph.D. in Human Sexuality at The California Institute of Integral Studies.

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